Down The Drain
by LostInTheInterwebz
Summary: Heero has regrets about his life...his thoughts while he commits suicide.


Down The Drain  
A/N: The idea for this fic came from when I was surfing along the "Just In" section of Fanfiction.net, and I came across a poem that I liked. I hope that you guys like what happened in my mind when I read this poem, and that you review. Please review. . .it makes me feel like people actually want to read what I write when they review. Thanks!  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, and I do not own the poem "Water." This poem was written by the talent, and labor of Magoo, which also posts fanfiction on this site.  
Warnings: Suicide, Blood, Cussing, Angst  
Rating: R  
  
~*~  
  
A trickle of blood, none too familiar.  
  
~*~ It happened again. . .I had to kill that little girl. . .and her dog again. Why must I always do this. . .complete these missions. . .When will it end. . . how many times. . .must I look into the faces of the ones that I kill. . .mercilessly. . .heartlessly. . .before I end their life? ~*~  
  
The pain is like a thousand stabbing knives, this somehow seems to calm me.  
  
~*~ Will I ever not feel their pain. . .the pain. . .that they have in their eyes. . . before their eyes are once again darkened. . .lifeless before mine. . . My hands. . . are so stained with their blood. Their blood. . . and mine. The crimson color. . .so soothing. . . my blood mixing. . . blending with theirs. Hn. It seems like in the end. . .we are all the same. . .all one. ~*~  
  
I crave for this feeling, trying to fill in the gaps of my life.  
  
~*~ Duo. . .heh. At one point. . . I thought. . . that the self-proclaimed "God of Death" liked me. . .even loved me. So foolish. . . I believed him. Then. . .the hurt came. . .all of his talk. . .no truth within it. None at all. Damn him. . .damn all of this. . .this war. . .this life. ~*~  
  
Life...ha, I don't deserve life.  
  
~*~ "Do as your emotions tell you. . ." Odin had told me. . . before he died. . . What good are emotions. . . when all they do is bring me pain. . . What good are these. . .tears. . . that are falling from my eyes. . .What good are they? They don't help anyone. . . they don't bring that little girl back. . . they don't end this war. . . Why have them? ~*~  
  
I sit here in the bathtub, my blood staining the water.  
  
~*~ Wufei. . .perhaps you had the right way to do it. . . with all of your justice. . . with all of your honor. . . Maybe. . . I should've learned from you. . .you were so strong. . . and still are. But. . . I cannot do that now. . . maybe I will learn from you. . . in the next life. . .in the next life. . . maybe. . . ~*~  
  
I try to lift my arm, try to strike my body again, but I cannot move it.  
  
~*~ I suppose. . . they will find me. . . lying here. . .the slashes. . . the scares. . .the hurt. . .upon my face and body. . . I have been doing this. . . this cycle. . .this hurt. . .for a long time. . . Quatre. . . sweet Quatre. . . suspects it. . . but. . . I would. . .never let him get too close. . .too close. . .to worry. . . No need to cause the others pain. ~*~  
  
I have no more energy, not even to inflect pain upon myself. That was the only energy I had, I have nothing now.  
  
~*~ Maybe. . . if I would've approached these. . .missions. . . with more of a nobler spirit. . . I would've lasted. . . this war. . . drained me. . . and is still draining me. . .like the water that flows over me. The hot water. . .making my wounds sting. . . but I am numb now. . . numb. . . to everything. . . even the stinging. . . has no effect. ~*~  
  
The water slowly drains, my life flowing down the pipe.  
  
~*~ Will they miss me. . . or mourn the loss of this. . . "perfect soldier". . . that they call me? Probably not. They shouldn't. . . they won't. . .no need to remember the one that brought so much. . . so much pain. . .so much destruction. . . to others. . .no need to remember. . . ~*~  
  
I start to feel more faint, my mind is drifting away.  
  
~*~ . . .maybe. . . they will. . . find me. . .after I am dead. . . and give. . . a good funeral. . . will they. . .remember. . . . . . . . . . . at all. . . . anything. . .about me. . . or only. . . . . my missions. . . . my missions. . . that is all that I. . . . . cared. . .for. . . . except. . . you. . . Duo. . . love. . . . . . my love. . . . . I am. . . .sorry. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ~*~  
  
The last bit of water drips out, and my eyes close.  
  
~*~ Owari. ~*~ A/N: Well. . .I hope that ya'll liked that. Have fun reviewing! (If you want. . .) Ja ne! ^_~ [pic] 


End file.
